- Me: am I mean?
- Friend: yes
- Me: who even asked for your ugly opinion? Who even invited you here anyway?
Yesterday was my grandparents 45th anniversary and my grandma was like “if I had killed him 20 years ago I would be out of jail by now” and that basically sums them up
Your grandma is 45?!
yeah she got married the day she was born
could you please hold this for a second *hands you my problems and runs away*
whoever created chinese food is my hero
probably the chinese